Shinra Coffee
by The Awful Truth
Summary: Three totally insignificant Shinra employees meet four very significant characters. R/R, you know the drill. My first fic. Don't be gentle.


Schmidt tapped the brown materia attached to the coffee machine. Damn thing didn't work unless you shoved enough MP into it, and even then it never got the Wutai Roast quite right. Still, the caffeine made up for the loss of _magical force drawn from your very soul_, even if getting an ether out of the vending machines was an incredible pain. The blasted things always got stuck, ,and you'd just stare at the machine, the ether glowing at you in its smug, magical little way. Schmidt hated his job, but he had to admit: Shinra paid good gil.

He approached the table where the only coworkers he considered friends, Jacobs and Gray, were sitting. Jacobs was a young executive, up and coming, and full of ideas. He had already been responsible for the transformation of a small forest into a glowing rock that could manifest a slavering demon who would obediently devour the face of whoever you pointed at. He was moving up in the world.

Gray was an accountant, and like his name, was rather boring. Schmidt liked his stability. You could set your calendar by Gray. When he stood still, which was often, you could use the man as a coatrack. Gray was the man who was most often invited to parties, as people just kept trying to confrim that someone could really be _that_ dull.

"No, really!" Jacobs was saying. "Dropped the plate right on it! Boom! Bam! Quick and easy job of urban renewal, and they didn't even need special contractors. You have to admire that kind of initiative."

"The way I see it..." Gray droned, taking a sip of coffee every five syllables. "It's going to take a while to rebuild due to the sloppy execution. Yes, it was under budget, but the resulting expenses afterwards will be devastating to this year's projections."

"Actually..." said Schmidt, finally contributing to the conversation. "I understand that they're not even going to rebuild. They're just going to layer over it with some kind of park and get modern art funding for the bits that still stick out." Schmidt was in PR.

"You see?" said Jacobs, his tone enthusiastic. "It shows that we care about the customer! It defines a new paradigm in Midgar relations! Not to mention emphasizing our recycling policy: Repairing that plate would have cost the taxpayer. Dropping it was an efficient new use for it, and now all the corpses will make perfect topsoil for the park!"

Gray and Schmidt had long since stopped listening to Jacobs. His rants always went off into completely insane directions, plus, if they didn't listen, it would be more of an entertaining surprise when they discovered that another one of his policies had been instigated. When you belong to a corporation that rules the entire world and effectively controls just about everything, you look for your surprises where you can get them. In fact, one was coming along right then.

"Who's that?" asked Gray.

"Who? The fellow with the largish yellow spike jutting from his forehead?" Schmidt questioned.

"Yes. That's the one. Is he new?"

"-and we can then provide more employment to those willing to help destroy any surviving- huh? Who? Him? I don't think I recognize him. I think he's with product testing."

"Really? That meat cleaver on his back looks to be an older model."

"Wait, I think he's coming over here."

Indeed, the strange man was walking over to them. His eyes glowed with mako energy, and something not quite human lurked behind them.

(He must be in marketing) thought Schmidt.

"Can we help you?" asked Gray, looking at the man with the blank expression that is brought on by being really uninteresting. For a moment, their gazes fought for supremacy... the stranger's glowing, hunted eyes looking deep into Gray's apathetic eyes full of numbers, reports, and long, boring workdays. The stranger found himself looking away. He should've known better than to gaze straight into the eyes of a cost accountant.

"Uh... I'm looking for the stairs upward. I've got an... appointment with Mr. Shinra, and I'm kinda lost."

"Down the hallway, to the right." said Jacobs, eager to help anyone who might put in a good word for him.

The man nodded. "Thanks." He walked off, looking around suspiciously. For a moment, the three Shinra employees watched him go. Then they got back to something more important: coffee.

"So where was I? Oh yes, there's a massive market for-" as Jacob went off onto another tangent, Schmidt sighed. That little encounter was probably going to be the most interesting part of the day.

"-and animals will be raised and SLAUGHTER- hey, who's _that?_" Jacobs had totally lost track of his words as he stared at the new arrival.

Schmidt turned, and instantly realized the cause for Jacobs' surprise. Even Gray raised his eyebrows at her. Schmidt noticed two things about her at first. The two things could be called Right and Left. Above the bouncing duo that was Right and Left was her actual face, which was pretty, but Schmidt kept finding his gaze going back down to Right and Left again.

"Dammit, now where did he go? Last time I let Clo- oh, excuse me!" Her angry mutters eventually moved into a pleasantly inquiring tone. "A friend of mine passed through here. I believe he was going upstairs."

Jacobs cut off Schmidt and Gray with a hand motion before they could say anything. Then his face broke out into the brightest smile that a master of ass-kissing could muster. "Hey, didn't think I saw him around here. But you know, I know this place pretty well, what with being a fairly important part of it all and maybe I could give you a quick tour..."

The woman looked at Jacobs for a few moments. Just looked. She then raised up a fist and slammed it into a nearby pillar. It took on a noticeable slant.

"Down the hall and to the right!" Jacobs quickly blurted out.

As she left, Jacobs quickly took another drink from his coffee and looked off into the distance.

"Vendor?"

"Vendor." Schmidt agreed.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then, simultaneously, all three raised their cups. As the cups reached their lips, they all heard a stomping sound. A knowing look passed across their faces all at once, and they set the cups down again, turning to see that, indeed, someone else had arrived.

He was a large, heavyset man with dark skin and a gun instead of an arm. He was breathing heavily.

"So many stairs..." he gasped. "And that spiky-assed fool left me in the dust! Yo, you three! Can you tell me-"

"Down the hall, to the right." mumbled Schmidt. The man grinned, nodded, and rushed away.

"Prosthetic limbs. I think I remember the earnings for that going up recently." Jacobs tried in vain to start up more conversation as the others tentatively reached for their coffee.

Schmidt finally finished his cup, and then heard a beeping sound. Glancing at his watch, he confirmed that, indeed, he was in trouble.

"Shit!" he yelled, startling Jacobs and Gray. "I'm late for my meeting! Heidegger's going to dock me for this one, I just kno-"

Schmidt trailed off as he looked at his coworker's expressions. They were no longer looking at him, but behind him. Schmidt slowly turned.

The man standing there turned everything else into background. His unnaturally white hair framed his perfect face. His body seemed to flow even when he stood still. The word "badass" came to mind.

He calmly looked them over.

"Down the hall. To the right." they all managed to croak out.

The man nodded, and calmly proceeded towards the stairs.

"I think I've got some vacation time I haven't used." said Schmidt, after a few moments had passed.

"Me too."

"The boss can wait for my new projections tomorrow. I hear there's this great place down in the 6th sector..."

They left, leaving their coffee mugs sitting on the table.


End file.
